healing🩵🙏

 24th Aug ‘19

Papa came home, switched on the tv and drank a glass of water, before going for a shower he said, channel change nahi karna.

After his bath, he was gloomy.

Papa’s circle was so top notch that, whenever he made me meet anyone from his network I used to be like, wow - how do you remain so grounded Papa!? and he used to say, life humbles you bete with his evergreen million dollar smile. Papa always said, when people come to meet you for your excellence you must always strive to evolve yourself with humility on a daily basis and never take any praises to your head.

I still remember it was a Saturday, and with Sudhir Chaudhary in the background breaking the news on loop, Papa said with a heavy voice - hum dono ka ‘52 ka birth tha, mere sabhi saath vaale ja rahe hain, teri zimmedari nibha loon toh chain se jaounga..

and if you know me well - meri toh Ganga Jamuna started rolling, it was the day we lost late Shri Arun Jaitley ji..and since he was on a life support, I said Papa aap ekdam fit ho, aapko kuch nahi hoga, and he replied main chalte firte jaounga bina kisi ko takleef diye dekh lena bete..

Papa told me unki beti ka naam bhi Sonali hai, he said mere baad ek zimmedar beta bankar sabko sambhalna..tu mera Sonu beta hai..

14th June ‘20

The Sunday that shook me when Sushant’s news broke, I had met him twice in bombay at Prithvi cafe, juhu and I shared multiple posts on his death and all that was inside my heart..

I cried a lot, I was low for a longtime, I skipped meals and I kept saying it’s just so sad..Papa used to come to my room and used to say I can understand your pain, lekin eat and sleep on time, I replied Papa ek din meri news bhi aayegi uske toh initials bhi SSR they..

I wasn’t Sushant’s fan though he was a humble guy who was down for a conversation as if we knew each other for a lomg time, both my meetings with him, he was just too grounded and sorted and sometimes the universe tells you that something isn’t adding up, no matter what’s shown to you.

So yes, I became intensely involved in following up the news on him, I related with him on many levels and I remember I made a lot of posts on insights and shared videos and even began tweeting about him a lot religiously.

Finally the case moved to CBI..justice is still awaited, though I’ll accept I slowly started to get back to life.

15th Nov ‘21

Papa’s last day on this land. A monday afternoon that sliced my existence into before and after.

I am definitely NOT the same Sonali, that I was, I don’t know if I’m still better yet, however I have evolved a lot. Papa always taught me to never idolise him he always said live a life where when you leave your body your soul feels content. He always emphasised on the fact that - a person knows all their karmas of the present life, so idolise the one you see in the mirror and work on yourself daily, consistency puts you years ahead of your scheduled accomplishments and the time to start that work is NOW.

All the people who engaged with Papa for his excellence in astrology, and his other business’s and trade all his friends, everyone said the same - they never met a man as unique, humble, graceful, hardworking and full of positive aura as Papa..

Papa, literally saw no Sunday in his life, not that he didn’t have a choice however because he enjoyed going to work, he followed his passion, infact 13th Nov ‘21 night I sat and had dinner with him at his own favourite place, 14th Nov ‘21 I spoke with him on the phone, and 15th Nov ‘21 he was gone.

Doctors said due to sudden pneumonia his left lung drastically swelled with water..and just like that Papa did go chalte firte all of a sudden before anyone could even figure..

P.S : I never replied to any condolences on Papa’s cover picture here on facebook till date because I froze and I’m sorry however I suck at giving condolences as well as I sucked at accepting them too, I just freeze🙏

Max I say is : Om Shanti - sadgati prapt ho, to any and everyone, because isse zyada mujhe nahi samajh aata main kya hi bolun.

I try not to speak to anyone admitted to hospitals, because I’m an extremely emotional person and probably this is why my elder brother (UK) and mummy (India) coordinated everything on the phone with the doctors until the doctors gave up post which bhai rang me from UK to break the news of my own father while he was doing his tickets to India on the same phone call.

I didn’t even goto see my closest friends father in the hospital, though this is many moons ago, I gave her the money she was short of for uncles operation however I froze to make the hospital visit and she knew why!

The point is I’m sensitive not soft, I can slap you while I’m crying, however I will never play you dirty just because you played me at some point.

I keep everyone in prayers, not because I’m a fool, however because I’m pretty cool like that and I’m glad I haven’t turned cold, it keeps me alive afterall.

All fall outs can be explained with one pov - whenever our unhealed versions come together with another soul, it’s only our healed versions that split.

The desire to fix another is an active avoidance of the neglected self.

The only people who survive this mechanics are the ones who prioritize top tier integration, people who accept they are unhealed and bring their whole self to work, to life - it’s messy, though that’s exactly where the magic is. 

Let that sink in!

This is why healing our own wounds and selves ultimately balances the matrix, all toxicity in our lives is our own manifestation, everytime we encounter a fall out especially if that’s a pattern most of us experience, it’s the universe trying to loudly convey to us to heal our own wounds which we have neglected for long.

Believe me we all face a particular day in our lives where we deplete all our strength to zero, and the only people who bounce back from that rock bottom are the ones who daily worked on themselves in some form, be that exercise, stretching, walking, breath work, strength training, yoga, meditation anything at all.

It’s still hard to say if they survived, because their inner self started to shut itself more and more before they reached that rock bottom as though to protect itself, most times their inner self remain inaccessible even to them for the rest of their lives, that’s why trauma has a lasting impact, it’s almost like a tragic car accident, to get the car back in shape each and every part is catered to, yet sometimes we are unable to fix the car back to full recovery!

There is not a single soul on this planet who doesn’t need healing and that’s why the work begins on the inside.

Consistency with baby steps matter🙌

Gratitude Universe💫

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, of consecutive years, my only wish is 🤲 to depart on a ‘Tuesday’ as is I’m a wild moon child, so yeah until then I will keep evolving and keep showing up✌️

Meanwhile, it’s great to see posts of half my timeline on Kashi and thank you for all the inbox messages and blessings.

keep travelling, keep evolving, keep inspiring, keep healing & most importantly keep smiling 🩵🙏