Your own family will talk shit about you, when you are in the process of breaking all their generational curses, this ain’t for the weak.
Let me explain ;
parents to children across civilisation : family comes first, always speak truth, help others, go out of your way to help others, be kind.
But when ones own family member does something gravely wrong, the same family expects to shield the member and not expose !? The same family teaches to cover the intention under the innocence !?
The same family compels and teaches the children how to manipulate and put up a show at a nascent age, in the name of family comes first !? and even justify with some gall.
When this child grows up to be a Vibhishan, they blame the child for bringing the roof down !? Because he didn’t cope up with all the learnings and failed at excelling at the PRIME lesson of manipulation !?
As a society, a very big majority among us are conditioned to teach our children to stay innocent and master manipulation at the same time and then when Vibhishans are born, we blame our children for not being street smart and striking that perfect balance of knowing what to conceal and exposing what’s safe!?
If parents really mean - go out of your way to be kind and helpful towards others, then why when everyone wanted Ram to kill Ravana, and Vibhishan did exactly that, by helping Ram, the world blames him, for being the black swan !?
Fact is, the hidden thought behind here is, help someone only until it’s harmless to your own kin, so then this is hypocrisy and not going out of the way!
Going out of the way means, being neutral and true, even when you can forsee a downfall of your ownself and your own kin.
A very few people understand this in one lifetime, and are able to raise their children with virtues that imbibe - blunt honesty.
There are families who practice deceit for generations in the name of ethos, family values, customs and traditions and feed themselves their own fabrication of truth to put up a show, the children in these families are such fluent liars not because that’s who they want to be, but because that’s what is expected out of them, in order to keep family first.
Children who are raised watching parents fight and abuse, discord in the family ties and pretend all is well in front of guests & relatives get automatically get conditioned into pasting a picture of a happy family for years until they get married and then they struggle to shed this IMAGE and for once when they do want to keep everything in open, at least with their partner, they are sucked into guilt trips and man caves.
What is a bigger curse to face it all once and for all !? Or to live with it everyday !? It’s so important to heal from the wounds that are or are not your fault, so that the next offspring is so robust in character that they are born healers for everyone around and they are not raised with confusing patterns of self loath and self harming tendencies.
Children questioning rules and traditions you expect them to automatically follow, is a sign of intelligence not trouble.
We need to lose the idea that unquestioned obedience is a sign of goodness, no, that’s just a person who never thinks for themselves, making them easy to manipulate.
The curiosity should be encouraged and no this doesn’t imply the children doubt their parents or upbringing ; it’s a mindset we as a society need to shed.
Questioning an age old practice to understand if it still needs the ancient method of execution isn’t doubting parenthood it’s finding ones own path to evolve in regards with the current times.
Parents should rather feel a sense of relief if their children question them, and applaud themselves in leveling up for executing responsible parenting.
Afterall, it isn’t the rebels who cause the troubles of the world, it’s the troubles that cause the rebels.
Goto see, what is mental math !?
Looking at two numbers, and knowing how to manipulate them in order to make an equation easier to solve.
This is most of us all our lives, some knowingly some unknowingly because this is what we all have been conditioned to do generations after generations calling it normal and way of life.
What instead needs to be normalised is the need to be able to apologise after one is wrong instead of being defensive and disrespectful, just because one is EMBARRASSED.
I find it extremely manipulative that any of our angry side is always considered as our true colours !? As if when we all are happy and kind, we all are FAKE !?
We all are all the good that we are too, and what’s not normal is just reducing any of us to our angry days or episodes.
Just like every word has consequences, every silence does too.
Trauma in a person, family and in people decontextualised over time, looks like, personality, family traits and culture respectively.
Each such trauma teaches us to close our hearts and armour up, where as healing teaches us to open our hearts and boundary up.
And so the unseen ERROR in the equation; which mostly appears completely balanced from the outside is : most of us attempt to jump to ‘healing’ and ‘unity’ without passing through ‘accountability’ and ‘consequences’ where in we must go back and finish ‘accountability’ and ‘consequences’ before trying to successfully load ‘healing’ and ‘unity’
We need to destroy the idea that repressing emotions is a sign of strength, this pandemic, the alarming number of people having to deal with emotions has exploded, and there are deaths that have surfaced the importance of mental health because keeping yourself busy with work and concealing selfcare underneath isn’t an option anymore and the show that was put for so long has all come crumbling down, it’s time to accept yourself in the mirror because denying yourself is denying all of your ancestors too.
We all are but the reincarnation of the gods and goddesses who they couldn’t banish but they tried to.
What might feel like falling apart, is actually a survivor putting themselves back together, it’s messy, confusing, takes time, roller coaster, brave but LASTING.
P.S : adults who are respectful of children don’t just model a skill or behaviour, they meet the emotional needs of these children, thereby helping to create the psychological conditions for these children to treat others respectfully.
There is no higher alchemy than a man or a woman who heals themselves, their ancestors and their descendants to come.
Our ultimate goal should be peace instead of constant joy and happiness, a cool neutral to experience life with a balanced centre, no matter what.
My mother once told me - your father & I gave you birth, fed you, clothed you, sheltered you, taught you, held you, protected you and even paid for your schooling, but my child you still owe us NOTHING.
It’s so important to have parents who can imbibe this virtue in their children and practice detachment so as to free the children off their sacrifices, it’s ONLY then that the child is truly independent and can practice and pass over CONTENT to their next generation and also offer unconditional support to their partner with matters pertaining to emotional negligence and patriarchal oppressions.
Families who practice detachment and a bond of independence since their offspring’s infancy, stand the test of time when they are physically living across the globe yet never grow apart compared to many joint families who live together under the same roof but steadily fall apart.
Thank you my dear parents for being rock solid, building up my character & the most providing parents one could ever dream of being blessed with❤️🙏
Happy Ram Navami everyone 🕉
#myparentsmygods
