Distance..

Life has led to many roads,
Many crossed paths,
Some ran parallel,
The one that stood still at an intersection, brought me to you..
Time froze in the magic,
Seemed like life found a destination,
Emotions clouded the scene..
I could breathe, or was it sub concious !?!!
I longed to touch,
And though you seemed near,
The arms fell short of the distance..
Never fret dear, I told myself
Another day..
The warmth in the eyes,
Is what I needed to soak,
Except suddenly someone called tears were first to fill that place,
Go away I said, its not your day,
Sadly they don't obey,
I blink and you disappear..
Leaving me at the crossroads,
The directions help me with the confusion,
Perplexed, lost and deserted..
" Baby doll are you done with that gloomy poetry yet !?"
I look up smile, and think to my self,
life brought me to the road where the destination is you..
All's sorted I guess :-) !!

The Wisdom of Pain..

The lesson I learnt was like,
a million words of wisdom put together..
The emptiness of the darkness was fighting,
to win the battle over my empty heart..
The fall of the evening, the clear sky after the rain..
The silence of the night, could make me go deaf again..
Oh! How I wish it would,
so the cluster of voices screaming in my head,
would stop at once..Tears keep pouring down,
making a messy puddle over my eyes..
A voice in my head,
Politely called my name, and said
"The world around you is at its brightest best,
Then why are you drowned in a colourless palette !?"
I looked up in the mirror, trying to make myself visible
making way through the clouds on my eyes.
"The PAIN..I said is too much to bear,
The courage has been pushed off the cliff,
The pain, I say..the one that the most dear

ones,
the people you trust in..cause."
"CLOSE ones !? shes laughed, The only close one is God"
and the voice drifted away, As if what she said,
just gave my soul a new light..
Like the god's answer, to all my questions..
Who is perfect !?.neither you, nor me,
People will come and go, and just the mix of right and wrong

ones,
But they will be just the ones, you are your greatest teachers..
They will teach and move on, As same as a wound that causes

pain,
and disappears in a while, but leaves a mark on your life..
These innumerous marks,blog will make you think about,
the choices you made..
But they would be something you call your own,
and yes I would say,
Pain is your greatest teacher!
The lesson I learnt is like,
a thousand words of wisdom put together..
and the answer lies within you !!

Moral Corruption !!

“We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side; one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach.”

In today's world if you return the balance from a check that the guest pays at a restaurant, you are considered noble. Hey i was talking about morality here! The last being the suspension of Lalit Modi. Honestly, why was there such a hue & cry about it !? Everyone had just one thing to say "Usney Paisa Khaya Hai!" The question I ask is very simple, who amongst them didn't make use of the plenty money falling their way !? In other words, "Paisa sab khatey hain" who gets caught, is the real catch. Everyone just completely overlooked the real hard work that, that guy had done, and in the public eyes, he became the real "Culprit". All he did wrong was, to press the wrong nerve of the wrong person at the wrong time. untill before this, Shilpa & Raj Kundra were owners of the Rajasthan Royals team. As soon as this issue hit the media, Shilpa Shetty suddenly changed her statement to being merely the brand ambassador of the team! My favorite guy,Tharoor, who honestly I thought was the real hope to Great Indian Political drama, steped down from his portfolio, gave me a real heartache. Extremely well read man, having the experience of holding important positions at the UN, nouvelle ideas, failed miserably at the most important task: Understanding the "cattle class" which makes up 90% of the Indian population. Only if he understood hes not dealing with the white house anymore. Just when I thought that phew! our country is finally progressing, we have the younger generations of the well known politicians of the erstwhile times. Thud! we hit the ground reality, its all an eye wash. All the hero politicians of mine like Sachin Pilot, J Scindia play the role of the nominal head much like the text book job descriptions of the President, remember president is the 'nominal head' & prime minister the 'REAL HEAD'. These people were carefully put in place to show, that the younger generation is actively involved, when these people have no real powers vested in them. Like the other day, my cousin went to get a college form, completely unaware that he had to submit a draft and not cash. The guy at the counter looked at him & said pay me Rs. 50 extra for each form & I shall get a draft for you. Just when he did that & left, thinking he was sweet, where would had he been lucky to have gotten a draft from, he overheard the guy talking to another boy in the queue " Two lanes down is the bank, go get a draft made"! The scenario looks bleak, but hey we are getting there..where !?..being moral and preaching it too..!? !!

The History of the ..!. - " Middle Finger !! "

Well, now..here' s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it !?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing !?!!!! eh !?

STAY !!

Many times when we argue, it seems that I get upset about something, and then you get upset that I am upset, and then I have to apologize for upsetting you, somehow I think something is Missing !!

Sometimes I would like you to tell me you are sorry for upsetting me.

1) I express my upset feelings about 'xyz'

2) You explain why I shouldn't be upset about 'xyz'

3) I feel invalidated and become more upset ( now I am more upset about being invalidated than about 'xyz' )

4) You feel my disapproval and become upset..you blame me for upsetting you and expect an apology before making up.

5) I apologize and wonder what happened or I become more upset and the argument escalates into a battle.

The most common way you start an argument is when :

You try to resolve my problem by saying " it's not a big deal" or "ahh don't worry about it " then you offer a practical solution to the problem, expecting me to be relieved n happy..

You don't understand that I feel invalidated and unsupported. I cannot appreciate your solution until you validate my need to be upset.

The most common example is when you have done something to upset me your immediate instinct is to make me feel better by explaining why I shouldn't I be upset, so u confidently explain that you have a perfectly good, logical, and rational reason for what you did, and you have no idea that this attitude makes me feel that I have no right to be upset..

when u explain the only message I may hear is that you don't care about my feelings..

for me to hear your good reasons, I first need you to hear my good reasons for being upset you need to put your explanations on hold and listen with understanding, when you simply start to care about my feelings I will start to feel supported !!

How I unknowingly go about starting arguments :

is by not being direct only at times which communicates a message of disapproval :

Like when you are late what I feel is " I don't like waiting for you when you are late" or " I was worried that something had happened to you" but when you arrive instead of directly sharing I rather ask " how could you be so late !? " or " why didn't u call !? "

certainly its okaye to ask you why didn't you call but when I am upset my tone of voice often reveals that I m not looking for a valid answer but I'm making the point that there is no acceptable reason for being late !!

and when u hear a question like "how could you be so late !?" or "why didn't you call !? " you don't hear my feelings but instead hear my disapproval..

you feel my intrusive desire to help you to be more responsible, you feel attacked and become defensive..and that time I have no idea how painful my disapproval is to you..

I agree just as I need VALIDATION, you need APPROVAL !!

the more you love me, the more you need my approval..

it was there in the beginning of our Relationship, and I am oblivious about you thinking that i pulled away your approval..and you feel whenever i do pull it away I feel very justified in doing so..a reason for this insensitive feeling at your end is that I was really unaware of how significant APPROVAL is for you..

Its a basic men's characteristic that they are ashamed to admit how much they need approval. They might go to great lengths to prove they don't care, but why do they immediately become cold, distant, and defensive when they lose a woman's approval !? because not getting what they need HURTS !!!!!!

Mostly when we argue is not because we disagree but because either you feel that I disapprove of your point of view or I disapprove of the way your talking to me as in you don't speak in a caring way..

when you make a mistake or forget to do a task or fulfill some responsibility, I do realise how sensitive u feel and that's when you need me the most !! and I always stand by..

If I withdraw my approval at that point in time it will cause you extreme pain..

no matter what they said I never left you back then..never thought of doing it for a moment either..you needed me the Most..ask yourself..you needed me more than yourself..and wanted me to just Understand and be there selflessly..had I left you that time You would have shattered and collapsed..I walked you out of it !!!

You are most prone to argue when you have made a mistake or upset me because you Love me the MOST..its a pattern..give it a thought..

When you return from your cave or hibernation :

I am like : how do u expect me to react !? or how could you be so cold !? or how am i supposed to know whats going inside you !?

but what you hear indeed : there is no good reason for pulling away from me..you are cruel and unloving..you are the wrong man for me..you have hurt me so much more than I have ever hurt you..

You explain : I needed some time alone, it was only for two days..what is the Big deal !? or I didn't do anything to you. why does it upset you !?

But what I hear indeed : You shouldn't feel hurt or abandoned, and if you do, I have no empathy for you..you are too needy and controlling..I will do whatever I want, I don't care about your feelings..

Now please understand this is exactly the way it happens its not OUR FAULT you are a Man I am a Woman that's where it originates from, all successful people in a relationship rather balance it out some what this way :

when you come back from your cave or hibernation : I always actually want to say : I know you need to pull away at times but it still hurts when you pull away..

I'm not saying you are wrong but it is important to me for you to understand what I go through..

All i think you can Validate it with is : I understand it hurts when I pull away..It must be painful for you when I pull away..Let's talk about it !? ( because when I feel heard at your end then it is easier for me to accept your need to pull away at times )

All I want to say is we Love each other..It takes a lot of Patience and Practice..

Everything above is True and I know you Agree..

so STAY !!